Feel Good...

I feel so damn good right now. Things are definitely playing in my favor now. New job coming really soon. The wifey and I are getting along perfectly, I'm about to revive one my most popular stories. All I need is a new car now and I'm set! But I just got back from the gym about two hours ago and my muscles are aching but damn it feels SO good. I think this workout routine has made some progress on my once inactive body. For example, I don't feel as tired as use to at work and when I up the weights on these machines now I can do more reps. God is great and God is good! August is gonna be a hot month!

~TM-1

Ask And You Shall Recieve...

Many fans from fanfiction.net have asked me all the same question as of late:

"When are you going to update The Life and Times 2?"

Well to answer this popular question, it's really simple: August 1st.

That's tomorrow too. So I hope everyone will be satisfied with this story that is being revived after eleven months of WRITER'S BLOCK mixed with lack of motivation. See you guys tomorrow, showering me with reviews. Also, two one-shot stories will be coming within the month of August. Until read my other stories, some them some love whether you add it as a favorite, review it, tell your friends about it or just you read it and it puts a smile on your face. I LOVE MY FANS!

~TM-1

Theme For My Next Story

Just listen to the lyrics and let them soak in your mind. My next one-shot will be another BOONDOCKS story. This story will be a lot more humorous than what I just published yesterday, be prepared.

~TM-1

VOTE OR DIE!

Attention readers, reviews and authors of fanfiction.net. Your time has come to vote for the next update from my exclusive fanfiction library of incomplete stories! The choices goes as followed...

• Let's Nab Cindy!
• And She's Get Discouraged
• The Legend of The Jurai Infinity Stone
• The Life and Times of Wuncler High School II: A Woodcrest Summer

Now you can vote here on my blog but I'd definitely prefer for you to vote on fanfiction.net.

~TM-1

TMNT: Turtles In Time Re-Shelled

Can't wait til 7/22! This is the greatest side scrolling beat em' up ALIVE!

~TM-1

P.S.- This is only my opinion, not a fact.

In The Lab Right Now

I'm trying to get back into writing and what better way to do that by creating a one-shot story about my favorite show, The Boondocks. For those of you that don't know what a one-shot is, it's pretty much a one-chapter story. However, I just can't create one story and feel satisfied. So I'm actually working on two one-shots at one time. I've got to get back on this writing ish because I cannot waste my talent on nothing. Time is short these days and now with my new added gym time that will become another excuse on why I didn't update or publish a story. Also, sooner or later I'm gonna start working on my original story. Can't become famous with Aaron McGruder's plot and ideas, ya know?

~TM-1

Oh baby! My WORKOUT cherry has been POPPED!

Yep, today marks a historic day in 'The Further Adventures of TM-1' for today I actually did something besides work, sleep and play videogames. Today, I went to the multi-million dollar gym facility located in my neighborhood. I do have to say I'm satisfied with my performance. Because I did a lot better than I expected myself too. I'm not as weak as I thought I'd be, lol...but seriously I'm now gonna adapt weightlifting/cardio into my daily rountine. I'll be RIPPED like a tombstone soon enough!

~TM-1

July Already?

Why is the world spinning so fast? I could swore it was just the middle of June like a couple of days ago. I really haven't been keeping track of time eversince school ended back in May. So what have I been up to? Well on Monday, I participate in the Gears of War Lan Party 3. If you live in my area then you just might know what that is, but if you don't then allow me to explain. A LAN (Local Area Network) party is when you hook up two systems of more to the same network so multiple players can get their game on! The games played at this tourney were: HALO 3, Super Smash Bros Brawl, UFC Undisputed 2009 and of course, GEARS OF WAR 2. Even though I didn't get to be the BRAWL champion (something I really want to be) I did bring home the HALO 3 and GOW2 tag team championship, so some gold is better no gold, am I right? Well in other news, I'm currently working on my 17th story and it's gonna be amazing. Really descriptive and so forth. Hopefully with ALL the free time I have today, I can make some magic and have it published because after today I work for the next ENTIRE week.

7/2: 4pm til 11pm
7/3: 4pm til 11pm
7/4: 8am til 4:30pm
7/5: 4am til 2:30pm (WTF?)
7/6: 8am til 3:30pm
7/7: 8am til 4pm
7/8: 3:30pm til 11pm

With that being said, I'm gonna try to enjoy the rest of my freedom today because starting on the 2nd all the way to the 8th, it's gonna be HELL!

~TM-1

Gorillaz

Yesterday I was driving and was bored of listening to my traditional rap and hip hop CDs. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks, why not listen to Gorillaz? So I popped that in was instantly teleported to a parallel universe with the Gorillaz, crazy eh? I really wish that 2D, Noodle, Russel and Murdoc were real people. They seem extremely chill...and weird. Just like me! Here are some of my favorite videos by them.

Game of Death


Jump The Gut


Then there is of course, the music videos. They make some of the most innovate, original, unique, beautiful and any other interesting adjective to describe the breath of fresh air this UK-based band brings to the world. Too bad it won't let me embed them so...just go on Youtube and look up the following:

Clint Eastwood
19-2000
Tomorrow Comes Today
Rock The House
Feel Good Inc
Dirty Harry
Dare

Hopefully they'll be making another album, it has already been a good four years since Demon Days and no new material. However, Noodle apparently died in the last music video they made so I dunno how it'll even work. But remember kids...

"Nothing is impossible, only improbable!" ~Luigi, Super Mario Bros Movie.

~TM-1

No One's Perfect

Don't you just hate the kind of people who just insist they are the perfect specimen? Like they can't make no mistakes, but yet they can spot you on every little incorrect thing about yourself and actions? We've got this new team member at work and he just insists he's perfect. Though, he doesn't say it...the saying goes "Actions speak louder than words." The first time I noticed this was one time I needed his help to clean up a spill in the middle of the aisle. At TARGET, we use this powdery white stuff (not cocaine) called absorbent to clean up liquid spills. So we're talking about millions of small particles are flying around the stuff and then I say "I'm not gonna be able to get all of this up." And then says "Why not?" The tone of his voice was SO serious. Feeling baffled, I just left him to finish cleaning it up. Then the next incident made me decide that this dude indeed thinks he's FLAWLESS. Here I am on my fifteen minute break, minding my own and ol' Mr. Perfect comes into the room and starts naming all the facilies right off the bat. Then the LOD (Leader on duty) at the time and brought us some chips and dip, so she was helping herself to some. Meanwhile he goes into the fridge and grabs some a yogurt and banana. As he was just about to sit down and start eating, he notices the French Onion Dip and immediately grabs it to read the nutrition facts. After reading it, he then noticed I was eating some Combos, and he tells me..."You know you're skinny now, but in about twenty years that's gonna catch up to you, trust me." So here I am thinking to myself, 'Did I ask this mother-excuse my language to give me some health lessons?' It's bad enough he points out every flaw while working, but don't bring that to me while I'm my break, real deal. Well that's my blog post for the week, probably. Nah, that GOW2 term book, part 2 is coming really soon.



~TM-1

And On That Note...

That's my catchphrase just to let you know. From this day forward if I see ANYONE and I mean ANYONE using that, I'll be calling my lawyer. But seriously that's my signature quote. I've been absent from my blog game (as usual) so here's what's been going down in The Life and Times of M. Loftin. Call me a hypocrite, call me a dumbass or call me an idiot but I've once again got back with Broudicca Fields. Strong feelings keep me attached, I've got just too much love for her to lose her over stupid ish. With this happening, I've scrapped Operation: Lifesaver and now I'm currently devising a new plan known as Operation: Revival. I'll give you more details once I get it right...lol. I've filled out an application to Publix today, but the highlight at this current time would have to be about my Mirco$oft Zune. Now if you get on FACEBOOK and have me as a friend then you already know about my situation. Well how about the only problem was my battery was completely dead, but thanks to an OVERNIGHT charge it's working again! Now this a HUGE fail on my behalf because I thought I could be slick and purchase a new Zune, swap it with my old dead ZUNE and return and get my moolah back. So I'm fixing to return this Zune and get my $140+ back. In other news, my fanfiction engines are starting to roar once more. I'm off this TUESDAY AND WEDNESDAY so hopefully I'll be able to drop something BRAND NEW on fanfiction.net. No promises though...until next time.

~TM-1

PLEASE DO NOT TELL ME HOW TO DO MY JOB

Is it me or do these days a customer/guest seems to think they know more than you? Yesterday was a prime example because I wasted two hours not only of my shift, but my whole life with this fossil woman. I will try to explain this the best I can. She wanted to buy a pre-paid phone from Virgin Mobile. Now on their brochures they advertise the 'TOTALLY UNLIMTED' for $49.99 a month. Now for some odd reason she thought that all she had to do was buy the phone and it would have the UNLIMTED minutes on it. Wrong! Everyone knows that the phone and plan have to be purchased seperately. So after me explaining, a co-worker, a manager, a customer service representative from VIRGIN MOBILE and my store manager, the lady just wouldn't listen. She insisted she was correct, so finally she decided to take her business elsewhere. Too bad she's gonna be proven wrong no matter where she goes. I can't wait til WAL-MART tells her the same exact thing. I can seriously see her going to VIRGIN MOBILE HQ and telling their president that all she needs to do is pay for the phone and that's it. It's still a shame two hours of productivity was wasted on ignorance.

~TM-1

Operation: Lifesaver

This plan has been in effect ever since 5/13/09 and so far it is working in my favor. Lemme break it down to you. Operation: Lifesaver is a three-step process I'm going through to not only improve my SUMMER but to also improve my life.

Phase I: Relationship

Now if you know me, you know I've been dating a certain girl for the last 20 months. Eversince the first couple of weeks in our relationship we got into little arguments over nothing. This built up for months and months to come and after struggling to keep my cool this whole time, I finally decided that it wasn't meant to be. I love her to death but we just don't see eye to eye. We are on two completely different levels. Last thing I needed to be going through this summer was girl problems. I'll always love you, Broudicca Fields. But we've seriously gotta treat life like U-HAUL and keep it movin'!

Phase II: Job

As you've seen in my previous blog, I've just had enough of TARGET. I swear that having a job at TARGET was almost like my last relationship at times. I mean once upon a time ago I use to LOVE working there, now all I do is argue with the management, get screwed constantly. So in order to have happiness restore to my jollyless body, I need a new job. Plain and simple. I'm still aiming for retail so as of right now I've got crosshairs locked on: Sams Club, Home Depot, Lowe's and Best Buy. THE JOB HUNTING PROCESS CONTINUES!

Phase III: N2U

This final phase can only be made possible once I leave TARGET. Trying to work on this phase earlier can result into some serious drama. But only a couple of close friends might know what this phase is all about. I'm gonna keep it hush mode for now and expose it depending on how it goes. As of right now it's 50/50 this'll work...

I'm really excited about Operation: Lifesaver and seriously hope I've played my cards right, like Gambit.

~TM-1

TM-1 Vents Part III

After working nearly at TARGET for three years, it finally feels like it's time to go. This is something that has been building up for months and the last straw was placed onto the camel's back on 5/13. From 2008 til this very date today, I've learned so much new tricks, I've improved so much in general. I mean isn't that what is suppose to happen when you do something over and over again? You're suppose to get better as time progresses? That's exactly what I've done, but not in the eyes of my management. After all the favors, all the unnecessary tasks, all the leading I've done for team members, all the guests I've helped with OUTSTANDING guest service and yet I'm currently ranked as IE. IE stands for Inconsistent effective, which means that I most of the time do my job, but sometimes I don't meet the requirements of my said title. That's hurts, man. It hurts that they don't recognize the greatness that is I. Last year I was actually ranked a E which stands of EFFECTIVE. Now I've been demoted to this? I've done at least 1000X more work this year than last. Now they've set the rocket off, as we speak right now I'm filling out some online applications to other retail stores in the area. Stores I know that will pay WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY more than that hellhole I current work in. Wish me luck, WORLD!

~TM-1

*yawns*

Playing til 1:30am last night might have not been such a good idea. Especially for one who expected to get as many of the 33 salesplanners due by tomorrow as possible. A salesplanner is an endcap (which is located either on the front or back of a aisle) My goal is 10, but I can't make no promises...wish me luck, world.

~TM-1

smh @ oprah.com/kfc

Big O, you have failed me...thanks to your wacky URL I was told at my local KFC that my coupon was invalid. The last four digits of my coupon (1234) did not match the one they had at KFC (3174) So instead of enjoying KFC, I had to betray them and head down to Chick-Fil-A and spend nearly six bucks. Now the worst part is my mom just went to KFC a while ago and now they accept the damn coupon. WTF?! She said that everyone in line with her had that same exact code, so now I guess since somebody done messed up now they'll take it. So now I have to enjoy my meal tomorrow...

~TM-1

Gears of War 2 Terminology Manual Part I

Alright, here's a more serious blog post. Every night I go on XBL with my friends and we play a little game called GEARS OF WAR 2. However, it's very special to us because we have adapted our own terms for many of the events that occur in the game. I know there are tons of slang we've made up for this game but this post will feature the first fifteen that came to mind. I hope you are not eating or drinking anything because if so, it will fly out of your mouth and possibly damage your desktop or laptop computer. Enjoy!

1. Oh baby! My fuckin' lips is WET!- When you spot a weak opponent and prepare to engage in battle.
2. Harvey Dent'D - When one proceeds to approach his enemy with a shotgun from behind and blows him into two pieces.
   
3. ID4'D (Independence Day'D) - When you are obliterated by the Hammer Of Dawn.
4. Look up at the stars- When you are down, but not out...yet.
5. Spread dem cheeks!- While your enemy is crawling away for revival, you follow and blast them in the rear section.
6. Jazzy Jeff'D- When you are killed in a animation style similar to Uncle Phil throwing Jazz out of his house.
7. Barney Rubble'D- When you melee your opponent to death. Similar to a cavemen striking his wife with a club.
8. CW approved trap- When you booby-trap a certain area on the stage and successfully kill your foe. Founded by Charles Wilder, 2008.
   
9. I got dat BOOM BOOM BOOM!- When you successfully acquire the Boomshot.
10. I wanna see [insert number] buttcheeks in front of me, going to the BOOM!- When your whole team races towards the Boomshot. This is usually performed at River.
11. Just ran through that like John Cena in The Marine!- When you successfully escape deadly situations.
12. Circle Jerk- Once you've downed the final foe, you and your comrades trap him in a circle and proceed to rape him til further notice. (varies between how many of your teammates are left alive)
13. LEROOOOOOOOOY JENKINS! - When you roadie run right into the battle without any second thought.
    
14. Hamburgerburst- Alternate name for the Hammerburst.
15. Hammer of John- Alternate name for the Hammer of Dawn.

Part II will be coming soon...

~TM-1

If I'm Not The Great Team Hero For This Month...

Then I'm gay, lol (inside joke) But dead ass, for the last month I've definitely worked outside of my job description and I feel that I'm the GREATEST TEAM MEMBER ALIVE! Plus all the ETLs excluding the actual store manager have been telling me I've been doing an outstanding job. So, we'll see if my face appears on that wall for May. If not, I'm comin' to work with the...just joking, seriously.

~TM-1

P.S.- This was just a post to let you guys know I'm still ALIVE!

Back For The First Time...

*sighs* Today will definitely be a historic day for myself. For the first time ever since August of 2008, I will close tonight and tomorrow. Back in 8/08, I was promised and guaranteed by the HR that I would open every Saturday at 8AM and open every Sunday at 4AM. At first I thought it would suck to wake up that early on a Sunday, but I've grown very fond of it. Simply because from 4AM til 8AM (when the store opens) I don't have to deal with any guests. Back to the story at hand though, they've got me closing this weekend because they're stupid. LOL, seriously though the HR that sealed the deal with me has transferred to a new store. Now the person who makes the schedule now is pretty much just BSing me and trying to tell me the reason why I'm closing is because of staffing. He told me that it'll only be this weekend. So now I look at the newest schedule and what do I see? Once again I close next week and it's seriously like WTF?! Then he goes ahead and says the same excuse and I'm just SMH all over the place. Why does the management always have to lie and smile in your face? They should be the most honest people in the business. Real deal. Well enough my rant, I shall now try to enjoy my three hours of freedom I have left...*rolls eyes*

~TM-1

False Advertisement FTL!!!*

*FTL!!! = for the loss!

This is something I always found funny about TARGET. Every week we have sales on certain products. There are seven types: Sale through Saturday, Temporary Price Cut, As Advertised, Special Purchase, Free Gift Card with Purchase, New at TARGET! and Even Lower Than Our Advertised Price. Now yesterday I came across one of the rare Even Lower Than Our Advertised Price sign.

Okay now here's the bad part...

What you see in this price above is indeed the regular shelfing label for the item. According to that blue sign it said that the product this week was $11.49 and was lower than the advertised price. But the retail price is actually $11.49, so WTF is TARGET trying to do? FOOL YOU? WELL YOU CAN'T FOOL ME RED AND KHAKI DEVIL!!!

Your FAIL brought to you by TARGET!

~TM-1